The eldest child of the beloved Addams clan is finally striking out on her own with a new show and it’s…yeah, it’s cool I guess. Netflix’s Wednesday, directed by goth superstar Tim Burton, has some lovely visuals, great styling, and a completely half-assed storyline that make this show a one-time watch for me.
I’m a big fan of the Addams family property. I love the original comics, the old tv show with Carolyn Jones, the amazing 90s movies, and the live action and animated shows that followed. They are a family of spooky weirdos who love murder and death, but also have huge hearts and show love and generosity to everyone. Most importantly, they had one of the healthiest and happiest families I’ve ever seen. The parents were madly in love and actually showed desire on tv in an era where most couples slept in separate beds, the kids bickered and pranked each other but were also the best of friends, and they often welcomed people who were nothing like them into their home and family. They were so happy and had so much fun! When it comes to how they portrayed women, they knocked it out of the park for me. Morticia was a dark and spooky witch who loved poisonous/carnivorous plants but was positive and loving and Wednesday simultaneously took after her mother while being her own person with a different view for her life. Morticia was mom and wife material and Wednesday wasn’t and that always seemed ok. And let’s not forget this moment, which is basically a feminist manifesto in and of itself:
So that’s a little bit of what I was hoping to see, with new adventures worthy of Wednesday’s noble lineage. In some ways the show delivered, but only about half way. Let’s look at the overall story and vibe of the show.
Wednesday is 16 and gets expelled from public school for putting piranhas in the pool to punish some kids who are bullying her little brother Pugsley. (This is, by the way, the absolute cutest version of Pugsley I’ve ever seen.) Her parents decide to send her to the same boarding school they attended, Nevermore Academy. If you think “That sounds like an Edgar Allen Poe-themed Hogwarts” you’re right, that’s literally it. The students of Nevermore academy are referred to as “outcasts” but they’re actually magical. Wednesday has started having these intense psychic visions, her roommate is a werewolf, and the school also has gorgons and sirens among the students. It’s outside of a small town in Vermont that honestly should have just been Salem, Massachusetts because that’s what it is. It’s a small colonial town with a history of witch trials that makes tourist money off of “Pilgrim World”. The local town hates them. It’s honestly pretty lazy and really on the nose, even for Tim Burton. For some reason I absolutely cannot fathom, no one at Nevermore is even remotely dark or creepy. Like, Wednesday stands out for being dark and creepy at a school that is supposed to be dark and creepy but where everyone is fucking chipper and colourful. Their school uniforms are blue and Wednesday has to have a specially ordered black one because she is apparently, literally, ALLERGIC TO COLOUR? That’s goofy as hell, but it actually contributed to the part of this show that I think works the very best, which is the friendship between dark and gloomy Wednesday and Enid her neon rainbow werewolf roommate.
The window in their dorm room is my favourite character in the show.
Seriously though, their dynamic is very sweet and both of these actresses did a fantastic job with the material they were provided. Enid is a really well fleshed-out character with real development, and she balances Wednesday out. I think it would have made a lot more sense if Enid was the sunniest character at Nevermore, but she seems to be pretty normal and accepted around school. In fact, even though they’re sirens and gorgons and telepaths, none of these kids is any different than any other teenager on tv right down to being skinny and beautiful and predominantly white. Wednesday is just as much of an outcast here as she was at public school, so I genuinely don’t see the point, except to separate Wednesday from her family which is the thing about this show that sucked the most.
Wednesday is estranged from her family for some reason? Maybe it’s because she’s a teenager and wants to like, strike out on her own, but I’ve never seen anything stopping her, least of all her family. Morticia doesn’t even seem to try and force Wednesday to do or be anything but herself in this show, we’re just supposed to believe that she does even though that is staunchly out of character. Wednesday is absolutely convinced she is oppressed in some way but we never see it coming from anywhere but herself. With this show Tim Burton answered a question I don’t think we really needed an answer to which is “what if the Addams’ were miserable?”. We see Pugsley getting bullied and his sister sticking up for him which gets her expelled, and so her parents send her to a boarding school even though both the kids are high school age and Pugsley will just what, have to fend for himself? why? Why not send them both? I don’t get it. I would have loved a Freaks & Geeks dynamic that shows both the big sister and younger brother trying to strike out on their own, together. Instead we get an, admittedly very sweet, little dude who loves beekeeping and becomes a loyal friend that Wednesday ditches and exploits like everyone else in her life.
Jenna Ortega, the actress, did an awesome job. She’s both beautiful and adorable, and it’s clear she took her role seriously. But Wednesday was written as an insufferable asshole. Not only are the pithy one-liners that sounded cute coming from 10 year old Wednesday really cruel and obnoxious coming from a 16 year old, but this girl uses and dismisses everyone who talks to her. Anyone who shows her even a moment of kindness becomes an exploitable commodity to Wednesday, and yet when it comes to winning a house cup she’s like the super defender of the downtrodden. When it’s not important, this girl is totally there for you. When it is, she’s either nowhere to be found or has an agenda and is potentially risking your life. She sucks. We see the tiniest sliver of character development in the last like, 15 minutes of the final episode of the season, but it’s clear she hasn’t developed at all since she was 10 and it’s icky.
This show also has the same “let’s solve a mystery instead of going to class!” format as most “cw” type shows like Riverdale and Chilling Adventures of Sabrina which is just absurdly dull. She goes to 1 class. Fortunately, that class is about poison plants and is taught by Christina Ricci’s character who is awesome. Not only is this a fun throwback to the movies from the 90s, she’s just a good actress and again does a lot with a character that doesn’t feel well-written. There’s also a love triangle, as usual, but it is so devoid of observable chemistry that it feels forced. Like, at one point one of these dudes says something about Wednesday sending him signals and my sister and I both laughed because WHEN? I saw no signals. Likewise, everyone seems to be obsessed with Wednesday before she does anything of note at all. Like, she’s just standing there scowling and 2 boys fall in love and multiple girls decide to hate her. The whole season felt like Tim Burton took a pre-written format and just plugged in Addams family-type things and a bunch of fun but cheesy literary references.
That’s not to say the show isn’t worth watching, because it is. It’s a fun little show and the wardrobe and styling is honestly excellent. Wednesday’s got an expanded wardrobe that is perfect and really keeps the vibe of her dress with the Peter pan collar while having lots of variety. There are some killer musical moments including a cello version of Paint it Black and a school dance featuring Goo Goo Muck by the Cramps. There is an unfriendly black hottie, Bianca- a Siren, with the same cool vibe as Prudence in CAOS; multiple sword fights, and some very sweet moments between Wednesday and her family (which just makes me wish even more they weren’t separated) and her new friends. Thing is the one member of the Addams family who accompanies Wednesday to school all season and he was delightful. He’s got a slightly grosser look to him, which I love, and had all the same sass as ever. It’s honestly amazing how much the actor was absolute to say with just one hand. Gwendoline Christie as the school headmistress is absolutely STUNNING, 10/10 no notes. Her character is everything it needed to be and her entire vibe left me with stars in my eyes. I also really loved Luiz Guzman as Gomez, and Wednesday’s Mexican lineage. She speaks Spanish, listens to some classic Spanish tunes, and there a plot line with an ancestor of hers who is a witch who came from mexico in the colonial era and was living in peace with the natives before the puritans got there. I don’t think this character was used enough, but I dug it.
But that leads me to my main problem with the show. I can forgive all of this and just have fun, but I cannot get over the actual lack of witchcraft in this show. None of the students at nevermore are referred to as witches. Wednesday doesn’t call herself a witch. No one uses that word except in like, historical or derogatory context. In previous iterations, Morticia is a witch. She majored in spells and hexes and wants to seek out dark forces and join them on their hellish crusade. Wednesday idolizes her great aunt Calpurnia who enslaved a minister and was burned as a witch. You get a little throwback to this with her ancestor, but no one is ever called a witch. Instead it’s “outcasts”. Even this ancestor uses this word. The only class we really see at Nevermore is a poisonous plant class, but since the school is like not nearly as spooky or dark as it seems and they don’t actually want anyone alumni to be villains or murderers, what the fuck are the plants for? WITCHCRAFT MAYBE? Wednesday specifically avoids anything witchy because that’s her mother’s bag so her only non-class interests are writing fictional detective novels and beekeeping? But she has these strong psychic visions. Like, it took actual effort for them to avoid having witches in this show. It was so deliberate and again, I can’t figure out why. I couldn’t help but compare it to Chilling Adventures of Sabrina all the way through, and say what you want about that show and it’s weird twisting of real witch concepts and deities into something fictional, but at least it had the balls to come right out and say WITCHCRAFT. Satanic witchcraft at that! The magic is Wednesday was incredibly weak. We see a single werewolf, and it looks terrible. TERRIBLE. Literally the lamest werewolf I’ve ever seen in my life. The school vampires do nothing. A gorgon stones himself. The siren, Bianca, like her obvious predecessor Prudence in CAOS was the coolest and most interesting with a backstory that was truly something special and should get its own goddamn show with an actual original premise. But no, we get The Chilling Adventures of Wednesday at Gothwarts (Minus the Witches) instead. It’s fine. It’s all fine. Wednesday is a fun little romp and these actors did an awesome job, but I think it serves as further proof that Tim Burton has been skating by on vibes alone for years, and it can only go so far. His movies are such a mood and really aesthetically pleasing, but the story is really basic (bordering on bad) and whatever heart they have is small and shriveled.
Do I recommend watching Wednesday? Yeah, sure! Have some fun with it. Put on your favourite Wednesday dress and do the double snap and hoot and holler at Christina Ricci all day long. If you want something witchy, however, you’ll find this show suspiciously devoid of anything truly magical.
Paige Vanderbeck, The Fat Feminist Witch 